Got - Show them you are with me.

morning watch - 4:35am

Matthew 4:5–6

This one cuts close.

The devil leads Jesus to the temple’s highest ledge and says, “Jump. The angels will catch you. Make it a spectacle.” It’s not just a temptation to test God—it’s the lure of proving something, publicly, supernaturally. Not for communion’s sake, but confirmation. Validation. A show.

And I’ve felt that pull.

I don’t mean I’ve stood on rooftops. I mean I’ve prayed with the secret hope that God would do something unmistakable—something that couldn’t be explained away. “Show them You’re with me.” I’ve fasted not out of surrender but out of urgency, wanting the invisible to become visible. I’ve pitched that prayer not as invitation but as dare.

And it wasn’t just once. That desire to be the exceptional one—the one whose faith is so deep God responds dramatically—it sneaks in.

It’s all temple-wing stuff. Not evil. Just confused. Just loud.

I think of the brother who asked for two hundred thousand dollars within a specific number of days. Not for greed—he wanted proof. Wanted witness. Wanted God’s solidarity on display. And he stopped eating, sleeping… not because he was held in holy peace but because he was demanding spectacle.

We’ve all done it, haven’t we?

I’m learning, slowly, to resist the urge to turn intimacy with God into something demonstrable. Learning to let presence be enough. Still tempted, though.